In school (especially high school), there always seems to be an “in crowd” and a “’you can forget about it’ crowd” where everyone else fits. In sports, there is a “first pick” and a “last pick,” or not picked at all. After church on Sunday, there is always someone who is asked to accompany a group to lunch and inevitably someone who overhears who is not extended an invitation. I don’t know about you, but I like being on the side that gets picked, invited, or accepted and esteemed. But really who doesn’t? Whether it’s from parents, employers, teachers, the opposite sex, or our peers, we all seek approval of others. How does the Bible address this desire? Is it consistent?
Ephesians 6:5-6 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.
Romans 15:2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.
What is the difference between pleasing my neighbor and being a men-pleaser? Didn’t Paul say in 1 Cor. 9:22 that he “became all things to all men” and in 1 Cor. 10:33 “just as I also please men in all things”? How then can it be wrong to be a men-pleaser if Paul admitted to such a practice? My answer to the stated dilemma you ask? Clearly stated… motivation. It would help to finish Paul’s statements above. Paul said that he “became all things to all men,” continuing, “so that by all possible means I might save some.” “Just as I also please men in all things,” Paul follows with “not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.” The godly motivation for pleasing my neighbor is to edify him, for his good (as in Rom 15:2 above) not to edify or build-up myself for my good (as in Eph 6:5-6 above). The need for approval from others quickly displaces our own realization that we are totally accepted by God through reconciliation.
Jesus warns in Luke 6:26, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” WOW, is that a powerful statement! To see a great explanation of this verse click here.
Scripture in this case does not present two truths that would appear to contradict one another. In actuality there is not tension present, “divine” or otherwise, though it may appear so at first glance. There is also not a middle ground that scripture reaches between approval seeking which is justified and that, which is not. There is in fact a singular truth. In an article entitled “The Centrality of the Gospel,” Tim Keller wrote:
“The key for thinking out the implications of the gospel is to consider the gospel a “third” way between two mistaken opposites. However, before we start we must realize that the gospel is not a half-way compromise between the two poles — it does not produce “something in the middle”, but something different from both.”
We have extremes, one on one end of the spectrum and one on the other. God however does not. His way transcends all and is “different from both.”